How important is image to you? My natural style is to prefer function over form, and I have only invested time, attention and resources into my image because I notice how much outward appearances affect first impressions. What else do people have to go on before they've had a chance to know and trust me over time?
The way a person is perceived has something to do with neatness, promptness, and courtesy. It also has to do with inner confidence and posture. Cringing does not inspire customers to buy, and neither does grandiosity. Authenticity communicates most powerfully.
Do you know how you are seen? If you can watch the people around you as they respond to you, you can learn more than you might expect. My first experience with this was as a young member of a corporate team. I was invited to a meeting, and charged with taking notes on the white board.
I’d done my homework and read some books about how to make a presentation. I was dutifully standing with my arms at my side, hands clasped together in front. (Since I've worked with Arthur Joseph, I now know this as the ‘fig leaf’ position … not the most powerful!)
In any case, I was following all of the rules, ready to write the next point on the white board, when I noticed two young men in the back row pointing at me and having a grand old time laughing. It took me a few moments to realize I was holding the marker in a very perky way in my clasped hands in front of me!
Well, I can say I’ve successfully remembered to avoid that ever since! Luckily I always smile as I remember. Feeling ashamed is just debilitating and doesn’t do anyone any good. I simply allow myself to learn.
Another question: Can people tell what you're thinking, even if you don’t say the words? I thought I was safe with my judgments and disdain until a more mature co-worker informed me that it did not matter whether I said the words or not; I was communicating the message loud and clear. As I’ve paid attention over time, I can certainly see how true that is. Again, cultivating authenticity is valuable … even going so far as to give up on the judgment and disdain and have true respect and warm regard for each human being I’m privileged to meet, even if I don’t like what they do or what they are saying.
I’ve learned something very interesting from Arthur Joseph that goes beyond how I hold the marker when I’m in front of an audience. It has to do with what I hide from the world as a matter of course.
Arthur Samuel Joseph, vocal coach to top performers and leaders, encourages his clients to believe in their Self. According to Arthur, the secrets we try to hide from the world are only amplified in our voice and how we present ourselves, and we are much more powerful when we live authentically from the core of who we really are.
I asked Arthur to describe what he meant by the “Self”. He said,
“The deeper Self is who I am. It is connected to the Voice, the inner voice. I coach my clients to always be conscious of Self, though not self conscious. It is a very intimate part of us. I strive to always stay present within my Self to the best of my ability, which I achieve largely through deeper listening.
I speak about the journey always going inward toward discovery of the deeper Self, and never outward toward accomplishment and achievement of goals.
How do I get to deeper listening? Sometimes I begin with conscious-loving breath, because that is my connection, coming and going from one plane to the other, staying in contact with my spiritual self while living out here in this finite plane.
Simply allowing a conscious-loving breath is the connector.
The Self is also the state of being that I strive to always reside in. It is a very present, a very conscious place, but not based on egotism. It is not all about me. It is based in recognition and allowance that it is alright to claim my Self. I do not have to ask permission. I do not have to worry about what you might think of me being this Self.
But at the same time, it is not about the egotistical aspect of that, but the embodiment of it from a mind body spirit construct.”
Arthur Samuel Joseph, Vocal Strategist and Coach
Creator of Vocal Awareness SystemTM
Vocal Power
Voice of a Leader
http://www.vocalawareness.com/
Here's to your authentic image!
My very best wishes to you as we begin this new year and new decade with the accompanying new challenges. Let's begin 2010 being respectful of who we truly are, living as close to what matters to us as possible.
Marilyn McLeod
http://www.coachmarilyn.com/
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