I’d been dating David for several months, when suddenly I had a feeling something had changed between us. Whenever I asked him about this, he told me it was my problem. But things just didn't feel right. I felt a painful gap in our connection. I was frustrated with conflicting messages and there did not seem to be anything I could do to get to the truth.
I happened to know the woman he was involved with before me, and I had respect for her, so I bravely gave Annette a call with an open heart. She was wonderful. She told me the two of them had gotten back together. Then she asked me how I was. She was sincerely interested in my wellbeing, and kept asking and being attentive to my feelings and needs until I felt supported and connected again.
I ended up feeling betrayed by the man who professed to care so much about me, and totally supported by the ‘other woman’. Who would I choose to be my friend in the future? The one who told me the truth and then was there to help me heal.
I’m not saying that approaching the ‘other woman’ with an open heart will always end up being a positive experience. I am saying that I learned not to assume someone was my enemy.
I learned that hearing the truth honestly allowed me to stay connected, and that being treated with respect and being included in the conversation were more important to me than getting my way. The truth allowed me to honestly understand the landscape I was in, so I had more power to chart a meaningful future course of my own.
Best wishes,
Marilyn McLeod
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